BDSM for Beginners

BDSM entered the mainstream after the “Fifty Shades” craze revealed that there’s an awful lot of us who have a sexually deviant side.

As we approach World BDSM Day (Saturday, 24th July 2021), for those with little knowledge on the subject, here are some tips for getting started.  Continue reading for the full guide below.

What is BDSM?

BDSM is an overlapping abbreviation for Bondage/Discipline, Submission/Dominance and Sadism/Masochism.  The categories themselves refer to a line-up of erotic practices.

Practising BDSM is more than the act of having sex.  In fact, scenes may not involve sex or even touching.  There are many themes, such as pain and humiliation, which are just psychological.

OK, what are the rules?

Good practices for BDSM would be:

  • Don’t take any alcohol or drugs

Alcohol, drugs and BDSM don’t mix.  That would just be a huge safety risk for those taking part.  Being intoxicated can make it impossible to give consent.

  • Talk

Like with any sexual practice, particularly something new, you should always talk about how it’s going to go beforehand.  In BDSM, this is called the negotiation and it’s usually a requirement for any type of play.  You can tell your partner what you’re comfortable with and what’s an absolute no-no.  Be very specific about your boundaries.

  • Consent

Again, with any sexual practice, consent is key.  It goes without saying that this is a very important aspect of BDSM because of its potential intensity, which can really be a physical risk.  Make sure you continue to communicate your consent throughout.

  • Have a safe word – always!

Having a safe word that signals to your partner that you want to stop will need to be something different from “no”.  Depending on the type of play, begging or saying no could be part of the interaction.

You can use the traffic light system where red means stop, amber means be careful or green means go.

Remember if you’re using a gag of any type, you’ll probably need a signal too.  Make sure you choose your safe word or signal before you start as part of your negotiation.

  • Aftercare

It’s such an important part of BDSM.  You and your partner will likely need to wind down together.  BDSM can be intense and you’ll likely get a load of endorphins and a bit of an adrenaline shot.

This is going to be different for everyone so again, it’s worth discussing or deciding your aftercare plan with your partner before you begin.

Any other tips?

Yes, don’t get in over your head by jumping straight into a dungeon.  Start with something simple like spanking at home first.

If you’re using any restraining tools, try not to use any with keys!  If you lose the keys to your handcuffs and they’re on, this could be a rather embarrassing call to the fire brigade to cut them off.

You can watch the BDSM movies that our members have uploaded.  Simply select the BDSM category from the Search Movies page and you’ll find over 14,000 BDSM movies.  These will give you an idea of how a BDSM session could go.

Ready to invest in some BDSM gear?

Whether it’s just some handcuffs or a spanking paddle you’re looking for, there’s an amazing range of toys on the AdultWork.com Official Stores.  Check them out here.

If you’re ready to take the spanking, you can use our awesome search page to find your dom or sub here and remember the BDSM good practices – have fun!

 

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