What Should You Do if Your Sex Partner is Hornier than You?

Sexual compatibility is held as one of the most important factors in keeping a relationship alive. Unfortunately, many couples continue to struggle with mismatched sex drives or even continue in virtually sexless marriages. Often, you might find yourself shrinking from your partner’s embrace or not responding as enthusiastically to their attempts at getting you in the mood. The stress of not being able to match up to a partner with a much stronger libido is quite real, especially if you don’t want them to end up feeling rejected. But it’s also crucial to not freak out if you have a partner with a huge sexual appetite.

Libido is something that varies from person to person and even in the same person from one time to another. In a widely quoted study, 15% of men and 34% of women were found to lack interest in sex. The key, as stated by a recent survey, is to adopt a growth mindset and work consistently on keeping the chemistry alive.

De-Stress and Take the Pressure Off Yourself

Think about it – if you’re the less horny one, it’s also an opportunity to let go of the pressure and let yourself flow with their energy. Be sure to communicate this to your partner and see if they would like to put you in the mood or “seduce” you. It could be via foreplay, creating a sensuous atmosphere with scented candles and light music, or setting up a cam session for the two of you.

Self-care and activities that help you relax will get you thinking about sex. Put in place a light workout schedule with breathing exercises and stretching, go on a light hike, book a spa session or start a skincare routine – do whatever it takes to yourself feel sexy and desirable.

Just Do It

That’s not just the Nike tag line, it’s the name of a popular book about a couple who gave up distractions and went on a 101-day sex streak. It could be your motto to begin closing the gap between your sex drive and that of your hornier partner. While you don’t need to replicate this overzealousness, the idea is to commit yourself to it and look forward to the possibilities it can create for both of you.

The best way to beat procrastination is to “just do it.” Remind yourself that sex is good for your mind and body and it doesn’t have to be about performance. After all, sex isn’t just about penetrative intercourse. It is about pleasuring each other in multiple ways. It could even be just talking dirty to each other or discussing your sexual fantasies. Watching a cam girl together might just do the trick to build your sex drive too.

Experiment and Fantasise

Once you’re up for experimentation, there’s no stopping you really. For starters, try practicing eye contact, a seemingly vanilla activity between two consenting adults, but at its core, it is a guaranteed trigger to mind-blowing sex and desire, apart from being a great way to feel comfortable and convey trust.

Try methods like flashing your partner and feeling their eyes on you to create sexual tension or engage in self-pleasure to arouse each other and get to know your bodies better. If you’re not as horny as your partner because of monotony, it’s worth trying role-play, an experiment that is both thrilling and kinky, and could bring back the fire missing from your relationship.

If fantasy isn’t your partner’s thing, try getting on a trusted camming website instead. It’s all about trying out territory that you haven’t tested before and giving yourself enough time to feel the excitement.

Find a Middle Ground

If your partner is hornier than you and it seems to affect the relationship more often than not, try communicating the problem and meeting them in the middle. Your lack of interest could be due to an underlying health condition, body image issues or a side-effect of medication. A conversation might help you get to the root of the low libido.

On the other hand, if they need sex much more frequently than you do, despite having explored the reasons for the libido mismatch, try to bridge the gap by working out a weekly or fortnightly arrangement first. If you are adventurous but they like it strictly in the bedroom, with the lights off, the right idea is to talk about giving it a try in the living room once, just to experiment. They might just want to try new places after that!

An open relationship could be a healthy compromise for many people, as are other flexible relationship models. If you’re not in a monogamous relationship, encouraging your steady sex partner to seek the services of a web cammer might not be a bad idea.

What if You’re the Hornier One?

Being the one with the greater sex drive in a relationship could be frustrating. Unreciprocated advances or a weak response to your moves might seem like a snub. So, remember that it isn’t personal. It is important to be patient and kind and give them time to experience arousal. Sometimes, your sex partner may need to feel emotionally safe before they can be vulnerable to you. Or they might have specific requirements to get into the mood. If they are not immediately open to your invitation to knock boots, take it sportingly and playfully, especially if they are liable to feel guilty for saying no. At any rate, avoid being over-insistent, since that’s a big turn-off in itself.

One way to manage the difference between your libido and that of your partner is to go the old lone-ranger route. Masturbation is great not only for people with partners who have low sex drives, but also for those who often find it difficult to orgasm during sex. Often, a climax comes in the form of a release of several beneficial neurotransmitters, including dopamine and oxytocin, making you feel more satisfied and happier. Masturbation also helps you stay in touch with your body and its responses, which can then make sex more enjoyable.

What’s the best part? Touching yourself doesn’t have to be boring and the same every time. Try virtual sex with a camgirl or consider investing in a sex toy for stimulation and orgasms that are much more intense. These devices are also great to gift to your partner, especially since these toys can revive low libido and reduce stress, which might in turn be one of the factors affecting interest in sex.