Sharing Your Sexual Fantasies With Your Partner

Sharing is caring, especially when it comes to your sexual fantasies.  We all have them so why not share them with your partner?  Following the popularity of the books and films, 50 Shades of Grey, erotic fantasies have literally come out from under the sheets.  In fact, one survey found that there are seven common fantasies and most people have at least one of them. Surprised?  You might be more surprised to learn what these seven fantasies are.  But enough foreplay, here they are for your reading pleasure.

Most Common Fantasies

  1. Multiple Partners: Threesomes, foursomes and more are some of the most common fantasies among all genders and sexual orientations.
  2. BDSM: Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism.  You might fantasise about one or more of the BDSM aspects, but the role you play, whether dominant or submissive, is likely to remain the same across fantasies.
  3. Adventure, Novelty or Variety: Trying something new is exciting for most people.  Don’t be afraid to try out new sex positions, sex toys or even locations.  Changing it up is what keeps things spicey.
  4. Taboo Acts: Now, this is likely to differ based on what is culturally or socially prohibitive for you.  There’s something rebellious about trying forbidden fruit.
  5. Intimacy, Passion and Romance: Many fantasize about being passionately loved by their partner or being emotionally connected to them.  This isn’t just about couples.  Even single people can have this fantasy.
  6. Swinging or Polygamy: Whether you feel aroused when your partner has sex with someone else or you would like to try an open relationship, this is another popular fantasy.
  7. Homoeroticism and Gender-Benders: Pushing the limits of your sexual orientation can be stimulating for many.  You could fantasize about having sex or taking on a sexual identity that differs from your usual gender identity.

Despite fantasies being so common, they aren’t always easy to talk about.  You never know how the other person might react.  You could worry about being judged or even ridiculed.  Fortunately, there are specialised communities like that have made it possible for like-minded people to find one another and indulge in their fantasies without fear of judgement.

If you still feel uncomfortable and need some tips to engage your partner in this dialogue, here are some tips.

Identify When to Talk to Them

Once you accept and are comfortable with your fantasies, it’s time to share them.  Give yourself enough time to get to know your partner, even if you are interacting online.  Talk about your likes and dislikes, and learn about theirs.  Also, you don’t need to divulge every detail right at the outset.  Ease them into it.  For instance, you might use role play and dirty talk to arouse each other without moving forward to using a sex toy.  You could even read or see erotica together to get started.

Tell Them Why

Some partners might feel insecure that they aren’t able to get you going without playing out your fantasies.  So, you might need to reassure them that you want to do this only with them.  They make you feel safe enough to confess your needs.


Although many fantasies remain just that, if you find a person who can help you fulfil them, yours can come true.  With AdultWork, you can always find someone you can be vulnerable with and truly yourself, no matter what your desires or fantasies are.


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